Two words: retail therapy.



School has been ripping me apart. In the span of 3 days, I've pulled 2 all-nighters but I'm surprisingly still going strong. I have nobody to thank but God for keeping me resilient and healthy this stressful period. One thing that hasn't been on my side is my skin. I have this huge pimple right in the center of my face, on my nose, and I don't know how to feel about it haha.

I'm not one to care about pimples - they come and they go - but this one has been very persistent and it's pretty noticeable.



Why am I rambling about my pimple on a ColourPop Haul blog post. (Pull yourself together, Nic.)

I've been eyeballing ColourPop for quite some time and somewhere near the end of 2017, I decided to go in for the kill. My wallet was the victim.



Besides taxing school work and my pimple, I've been thinking a lot about beauty and makeup as well. Not the products but the idea of dolling up and looking good with the aid of beauty products.

I won't be rambling so much about how girls do makeup to impress guys - because I think it's been established and reiterated several times already that (most) girls put on makeup for themselves - because it's fun or because it makes us feel good.

YES, PLEASE!

Pressed Powder Shadow Palette

Seeing that this palette made it to the Nylon Beauty Hit List 2017, I felt that if I were to get any palette from ColourPop - this should be it. I love the warm colours so much and it has a good number of matte shades and shimmer shades. They're super smooth and blend really easily.

COOKIE

Lippie Stix

I've been on the hunt for a good nude lipstick for a long time and I'm glad to say that the search is over. We did it, fam. I found my match. We're in a serious relationship now.

UP AND AWAY

Lip Bundle

The main lip product I wanted to get was Love Bug because I tried it once when a really great friend of mine let me. And I was shook. I rarely wear red lips because I feel like I can't seem to find the right shade of red for me but Love Bug was right up my alley. I'm prepared to wear more bold lip looks this year, woohoo!

GNOMIE

Loose Highlighter

I'm not very sure how to use a loose highlighter but I'm really excited to try this out! It's super glittery and shimmery so if you about that glow-to-the-gods kind of life, you should give this a shot.

RUNNING IN ORBITS

Supernova Shadow

I got this in hopes to get a glossy lids kind of look and although it's not going to give me the look I was trying to achieve, I ain't complainin'. This has a iridescent metallic sheen which looks gorgeous when light hits it. Can't wait to experiment different looks with this product.

Source: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/59/bc/0a/59bc0afe5d192f87d105fed27f02d793.jpg

I think the new year is the perfect time to review the past and look forward into the future. Not to say that it's bad to do that throughout the year - just saying that the perfect time, in my opinion, would be at the end of the year/start of the year.

Source: https://media.giphy.com/media/l0MYCKMCJFO8xfJUA/source.gif 

2017 was a year full of changes and new experiences. In retrospect, I'd say it was a pretty decent year. I was hurled out of my comfort zone (which was terrible) but without that, I wouldn't have grown.

I haven't blogged in a while too so I think I should round up the year in a nutshell to put us all on the same page.

2017 highlights:

• Turned legal!
• Joined polytechnic
• Made a lot of friends!
• Better than expected GPA
• Started eating eggs, dairy and fish again (no other meat) 
• Experienced a breakup 

and more...

I did manage to hit some of my goals I set for myself last year. If you look back at my Bye 2016, Hello 2017 post, these are the things I'll want to continue for this year:

• Don't push emotions to the side; accept them, deal with them and then let them go (I'll definitely have to write an extended post on this topic)
• Smooth skin, nice hair, take care of personal hygiene
• Wear nice lingerie, it's empowering!!!!!
• Say 'No' when I mean to (I'd say I'm doing well in this aspect so far in 2018)

2018 goals:

• Have only 1 non-vegan meal a day; the rest of the day I will be vegan!!! (I'm honestly really digging the vegan vibes and miss feeling more at peace, if that makes sense)
• Wake up at 7am or earlier every day 
• Be independent, self-sufficient and self-motivated!!
• Know my worth and believe that:

• Know that being admired for being good-looking is like congratulating a person for their face. Remember that being appreciated for my personality/character is so much more meaningful. This applies when I'm complimenting others as well. Dr Yang says it best:

• Drink more water, use water bottle (tried to do this in 2017, didn't really work out)
• Get fit and reach a certain weight by my birthday
• Focus on studies and get a good GPA
• Being more self-aware - pen down my thoughts
• Start writing more poetry again (I have a highlight story of my poetry on my Instagram)
• Be minimalistic (tried this in 2017, didn't succeed so I'm persisting and giving it another shot this year)
• Save money!!!
• Trust God more and let Him be in control
• Be more confident with myself and my looks/body
• Was thinking about doing YouTube again but I really don't think I have the luxury of time - will see how it goes :)
• Bake more vegan goodies
• Cook and prepare my own meals more
• Blog more (about veganism, vegan food, reflections, studies etc.)

The applications in the picture above were the tools IT used to slaughter me. It wasn't easy, but I made it. And in this post, I'll be sharing my thoughts on my poly experience so far. I realised there aren't many polytechnic students who talk or blog about being in IT so I thought it'd be cool to do it.

My dream would be to inspire more girls to pursue technology💕
Enough blabbering, here's the tea.
So much has happened since I last blogged. Let me address the biggest update first which is how did my first semester go?

It wasn't easy. I knew I'd be in a very male-dominated environment but I wasn't expecting it to affect me as much as it did. Let me talk a little bit about my background.
I studied in an all girls' school from primary school till secondary school. The only time I got to study with the male species after that was in my first year in JC (thank goodness for that or it'd take me so much longer to adapt to studying among so many guys in poly).

Let's talk about the gender ratio in my class. There are 4 girls out of the 26 people in class. I'm very thankful for the girls though, they make going to school fun. I'd group with the girls for almost every group project. Some guys are very friendly and helpful too which is great but some guys got us girls triggered nearly everyday. But I suppose you can find all sorts of people anywhere.

The first semester started off well. I felt like I had a good start and was on the right track.

I came into poly with big dreams but having experienced the first term, I'd be delighted to come out of poly with a 3.65 GPA, anything more would be a bonus. 

I have friends in business who are in their second year with a 3.95 GPA and I respect them so so much. Maybe IT is a very different ball game but wow. What a dream it'd be to have a GPA of 3.9+. Then again, business seems very content heavy and I can imagine the things they'd test - especially if economics is involved (*flashbacks to JC econs*).
Every course has its own struggles.

Anyway, IT is not easy because there is a lot to juggle during a short amount of time. I managed to do alright for the first term but when major submissions came around in term 2, there could be 3 submissions due on one day and 4 presentations in one week. On top of that, you have to make sure you're doing the weekly online quizzes for most subjects.

Some teachers also weren't very helpful, in my opinion. It's sad because if each student had gotten more individual attention and fostered a stronger student-teacher bond with the lecturers, the whole learning process would've been so much more enriching. But the teachers always seem to be so busy. The only means of communication with the teacher would be email (excluding calling their school phone number). Some teachers tend to reply late too which can be frustrating especially if you have a submission due around the corner.

On the other hand, there are some kind and patient teachers as well. If you kindly email a teacher for a consultation, more often than not they will meet up with you. You can request for a one-to-one consultation and really make sure you are getting the help you need in your assignment.

Also, be ready to spend a lot of time with your computer. If you are planning to do IT, make sure you have a good laptop because so much work will be done online.
Some subjects are e-learning subjects so there are no face-to-face lessons for them at all (a lot of students were frustrated that they basically paid the polytechnic to learn online instead of from teachers but that's the way it is I guess).
Many subjects also provide a lot of e-resources and when you do go for the face-to-face lesson, you feel like you've already learnt everything online and the teachers are just reading off the slides or repeating what you already know thanks to the e-learning. So no matter what, students are always going to complain. #guilty

I'll probably make a video or blog post about some tips when starting out poly, we'll see how it goes. I'll take a look at my GPA for this semester and see if I'm worthy to give advice, HAHA.

I'm currently waiting to get my results for the semester, I'm not sure when it'll come out but I'm so nervous. I doubt I did as well as I hoped, but there's nothing I can do to change my results now. I just have to do better from now on. 

So what kind of assignments/projects did we have to do?

I'm studying Information Technology in Temasek Polytechnic. During the first semester, we had these diploma modules:

• Logic and Mathematics (LOMA)
• Statistics and Analytics (SANA)
• Computational Thinking (COMT)
• User Experience and Interface Design (UXID) 
• Network Technology (NETY)
• Business Information Systems (BUIS)
• IT Law and Ethics (ITLE)

ITLE was 100% e-learning.

UXID was fun because it had some design elements involved which I enjoyed.

The subjects which I really struggled in were COMT and NETY.
COMT is basically the subject where the bulk of our coding was done. We were tasked to create a music player app and it was honestly quite difficult.
It's so important to not get influenced by other people in class because some have coding experience- good for them, they put in the time and effort to learn - they better be better than you (for now at least).
Students who went to ITE have a huge advantage when it comes to NETY because that's what they did most of in ITE, so don't be intimidated when they are good at it, again, - they better be.
Just keep up with the school work and you should be fine. Classmates are also usually very helpful so don't be afraid to ask for help - this is so important.

As I mentioned previously, I had to make a music player application for COMT. My music player application turned out fine, I suppose. I had the main basic features like a signup page, login page, music player page with several buttons like play, pause, next, previous, shuffle etc. but I couldn't manage to get a lot of my more advanced functions to work which really stressed me out. I kept comparing my application to others which were so much more aesthetically pleasing and advanced but in the end, I decided to just work with what I have and do what I can. I'm hoping for a B at least (please).

Whenever the emulator/app crashes, I felt my heart sink and shrivel in my chest. I felt so immobilized whenever something went wrong. 

Very often you don't know what's wrong and that makes it so much scarier. That's IT for you and I quote my teacher, "It's only the beginning." 

I told myself that I'm going to work on my coding during the holidays and that's what I've been doing since the holidays started :)

I have stayed up quite a few nights on the brink of panicking when my app doesn't work. I have broken down a couple of times and one of those times was in school. I've never felt this worried about my work before, not even in JC. I've come to realize that the more you care, the more stress you get. It's not about which post-secondary path is more difficult or stressful, because there will be stress wherever you go as long as you care about what you do.

Does being a girl in IT have any benefits?
Some teachers have the tendency to be a little less comfortable with girls, simply because they're not used to teaching girls too so they'd be more careful with their words and gentler in how they explain things. But that's a small percentage of teachers and it's not all the time.

Most of the time, if not all, how a teacher views you is not so much dependent on your gender but how you behave. A lot can be said about your character from the tiniest mannerisms and habits so I'd say to be mindful of how you behave around teachers, especially in the first term so that you're able to make a good first impression- the perception your teacher has of you tends to stay for quite a while.

But think about it, how cool is it to be a girl in such a male-dominated industry? Girls in technology are such a rare commodity and you'll definitely stand out amongst the many other male applicants during a scholarship or university interview.

It's a benefit because, at the moment, it's uncommon.
But it's funny how an advantage can also be a disadvantage - the lack of females in IT is shunning more females from entering IT which makes it a vicious cycle.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is - be proud and confident in what you do, no matter what you choose to pursue.


How have I improved so far?
I've definitely learnt a lot regarding IT but I've also learnt a lot about myself and improved some personal skills.

1. For one, my typing skills on the computer has improved by leaps and bounds. 
2. I also discovered what study techniques work for me. 
3. I've definitely improved my public speaking skills due to the array of presentations we had to do. 
4. I'm much more comfortable around people because of orientation and having to make new friends.
5. I'm much more comfortable around guys - I remember crying in JC one time because I was so shook by the new species that is boys. But I honestly treat some of the guys in class like gal pals HAHA. Very thankful for some helpful guys in my class though, honestly.
6. I'm better at managing my time and prioritizing.
7. I've found my motivation and that has allowed me to really push myself to do the best I can.

Do I regret dropping out of JC to go poly?
Ultimately, no. But I've been doing more research and recently discovered some amazing YouTubers from UK who are very intelligent and going to top universities like Cambridge, Oxford, Durham, Harvard etc. and I kind of regret not staying in JC to do A-levels.
The A-levels, if done well, can get you to so many good places. With that being said, I felt that I wouldn't be able to perform well for A-levels at that time due to my lack of motivation and purpose which is why I made the decision to go poly.

Now that I'm in poly, studying a field which I have interest in and having a goal in mind (I'll make another blog post about my goal hehe), I feel so motivated to do my best.

Being in poly has its drawbacks when it comes to future prospects but in the long run, if you're able to do well in poly, you're as qualified as any JC student.

In conclusion, this first semester in Information Technology hasn't been easy and I felt like giving up on IT a few times. I questioned myself if this was really what I wanted - so many people have also told me that I don't seem like an IT person. But I pulled through and now that the stress is gone and I've been able to collect my thoughts, I am quite certain that I enjoy what I'm doing.


That's all for this post, bye for now! :)

Hey guys! This post is just me looking back on my 4-month-long holiday and reflecting a little before school starts. I got accepted into Temasek Polytechnic and I'm doing Information Technology, I'm super excited :) I can finally commence my 10-day countdown till my orientation!

When I look back on the past few months, I think the highlights are the new skills and lessons I've learnt. I also vividly remember the challenges and triumphs I have with loved ones. I can name 4 things which stick out to me:

• Boxing 
• Painting (I have an online portfolio here)
• 18th Birthday
• Church camp

And to accompany through it all is my wonderful boyfriend; Gabriel :)

I've been really into painting recently and I guess it all started from this artwork:

"Open Heaven"


This picture can be found on my Instagram :)

I had a church camp called 'Open Heaven' coming up so I was inspired to paint an ocean. I had no idea how it would turn out before or while I was painting but I was very pleasantly surprised by the end result. The kind feedback from family, peers and my boyfriend just kept me painting.

I'll be scattering some of my other pieces which I quite like throughout this post. More can be found here. I also have a YouTube video showcasing my 'portfolio' of artworks done so far at that point in time (which is majority of the pieces). Link to that video is here.




"Portal"

The next exciting thing which happened during the holiday was my birthday! And not just any birthday, it was my 18th birthday :)
Gabriel's birthday falls 8 days before mine so we had a combined birthday celebration at my place. We're both officially legal! I don't usually invite people over and I'm terrible at entertaining guests but I'm so thankful that the night went smoothly and people had a good time.


"Jealousy"

Let's get real deep for a moment. I'm guilty of comparing myself to others multiple times. And it all boils down to envy, no matter how hard I try to deny it. Envy/jealousy is ultimately an emotion related to fear. And I'm a very fearful person but I'm working on it! There's a quote which struck me:

When jealousy rears up, it indicates that something inside of you is afraid. It's an alarm, nothing less and nothing more. Treat it as such. 

-Anothny D. Ravenscroft

Throughout my birthday period (especially on my actual birthday where I was cooped up serving in church camp which I'll talk about more later), I found myself feeling really upset. Thoughts like, "Why can't I celebrate my 18th birthday in a club like those celebrities or in a hotel like those famous bloggers?",  "Why am I here?", "Nobody cares about me," etc. kept running through my head. I just wanted so much to feel special on my actual birthday but I guess I wasn't receiving the love or attention I wanted. And it was so frustrating because I knew that I was being a spoilt brat and asking for too much in my head. I told myself to calm down and think rationally but that only conceals my negative feelings, it doesn't get rid of them.


"Australia: Phillip Island I"

I get so caught up wanting to be nice and 'perfect' or ideal that I suppress some of my very normal human emotions. For example, if I'm upset for a valid reason, instead of allowing myself to feel, I talk myself out of it with things like, "Girl, you shouldn't be feeling this way!", "You're better than this!" etc. It happens a lot and it made me hit a couple of lows this holiday. It was like I was swinging between extremes and it was very tiring. I'm just thankful for the people in my life to pull me out of those lows :)

I'm also very thankful for the amazing advice I got. Someone told me that I shouldn't let the 'dream Nicole' get in the way of how I really feel about things. And that person also told me to not let my thoughts make me lose sight of the truths.

And I've realised that the best way for me to resolve this internal turmoil is to talk to someone-which is the most difficult thing for me to do. I rarely confide in people because I'm so scared of being vulnerable. But if it was easy, it probably wouldn't be worth it.


"Crashing Over Me"

Church camp (Open Heaven) was on 15th-19th March and my birthday fell during camp so I was a little sad that day. I guess I'm a typical teenage girl who wants to have a special day where things really go my way and for me to feel extra special and loved. But things can't always go according to our plans because God has greater plans I guess.
So I didn't spend my birthday having a bash like celebrities or some of my friends do on their 18th. I served God alongside my boyfriend and precious church friends. It was tiring and I was still a little upset deep down but it was a blessing in disguise. I just really hope my next birthday doesn't fall during camp. I've already began imagining how I want my 19th birthday to be, HAHA.


"Lion and The Lamb"

The significance of sacrifice also really struck me this holiday. What are you willing to sacrifice for [fill in the blank]? What would you sacrifice for your friendship, your family, your relationship, your work etc.? I think everything worth having doesn't come easy and it's definitely going to require some form of sacrifice. And how much you're willing to give up is proportional to how much that thing means to you.


"River Wild"

I'm still learning to handle my emotions because I feel like I feel too much sometimes and then I have those periods, after I've felt too much, where I just shut-off and literally can't cry or feel anything. I become numb and that's when it's dangerous. I'm learning to take things easy and trust myself and others around me. I'm learning to love myself and see my strengths and my beauty. We're all beautiful in our own special way and just because she's beautiful, it doesn't mean I'm not. And blowing out someones candle will not make yours shine any brighter. You could even end up blowing out your own candle by accident.

I saw this quote while writing this blogpost which really resonated with me:

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only on alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.   

-Jennifer James 

"Keep My Eyes Above The Waves"

Enough of all the negative emotions. Let me talk about something which I feel quite accomplished about. I was able to give my testimony in front of a pretty big crowd in my church youth ministry despite the emotional roller coaster I was on in the previous week. It was intense but it went pretty well and I'm glad I managed to pull off the humorous bits.


"Oceans"

God plays a really big part in my life and in my paintings. I watched The Shack with Gabriel and it was such an amazing movie. We first heard of the novel/film from Hillsong United because they did a song for the movie. It's so amazing!! Everything about the movie tugged on my heartstrings. I don't want to give any spoilers but I just felt so renewed after seeing this movie. And it made me feel so blessed to know God and for me and Gabriel to have the same faith.

That's all for this super messy post, it was more of an outlet and reflection for me. I teared up while typing some parts, heh. I just want you to know that you are so wonderfully made and no one can change who you are. You're amazing, strong and beautiful. I appreciate you and you are so important. Your feelings matter and your emotions are valid.

That's all for this post, take care and God Bless :)

Hey everybodyyy :)  It feels like it's been such a long time since I blogged! Hope everyone's enjoying 2017 so far, I know I am.



Just a quick update of what I've been up to recently, since my drop-out from JC, I've submitted my school application (JAE) and I'm waiting for the posting results to come out in early February, I cant wait for school to start honestly. I put Temasek Polytechnic Information Technology as my first choice and I hope to get in :)
I also picked up boxing at a gym near my place, it's so fun and it's such a great way to keep fit. I can already see and feel the difference in my body.

Now, back to the post.
I did a similar post early in 2016 and it was a nice way to document the year and my thoughts and resolutions for the new year. So I'm back with another post for 2017!

Looking back on 2016, I'd say it's a pretty great year. It had ups and downs, as do all years, but I'm glad to say that 2016's ups far outweighed the downs. And I'm able to remember more good memories than bad. I'd probably attribute it to my habit of journalling my day on this app called Grid Diary (which I also mentioned in this post). After using it for a few consecutive months, I finally decided to get the pro version :)

It's nearing the end of January 2017 so this post is a little late, but better late than never!
Cool things that happened in 2016:

• Made new friends
• Better than expected O-level results
• Joined Football (Girls) CCA in JC
• Said yes to more things and also knew when to say no 
• Took up boxing at the end of 2016, signed up for a 3+months membership
• Found the love of my life
• Dropped out of JC
• Cooked/baked more vegan food
• Visited Australia, fed kangaroos and calves, saw penguins
• Bought things online for the first time HAHA

and more...

If I actually typed every good thing that happened in 2016, this post would be like a never-ending essay. 2016 was such a good year and I really give all glory to God. Things got really bad at one point but with God, I pulled through :)

New Year is always very exciting. Although this New Year felt less festive, New Year still symbolised a new beginning for me- a chance to do better and be better. So these are my New Years Resolutions for 2017 which also consists of a few habits from 2016 which I want to keep.

2017 New Years Resolutions
Self

• Don't push emotions to the side; accept them, deal with them and then let them go
• Love life and the people who make me a better person, love better
• Smooth skin, nice hair, take care of personal hygiene
• Wear nice lingerie, it's empowering
• Say 'No' when I mean to
• Be confident, less insecure
• Be adventurous, go for parties and experience ZoukOut 2017
• Continue using Grid Diary
• Be minimalistic

Health

• Get fit and healthy, both physically and mentally (took up boxing)
• Stay vegetarian
• Drink more water, use water bottle

Money

• Save money, at least ($) per month
• Have at least ($) in bank by the end of 2017
• Cook more, eat out less
• Pack food to school

School

• Focus on studies
• Stay productive
• 4.0 GPA (*nervous laugh*)

Faith

• Go mass every week
• Read the Bible everyday

I guess that's all for this post. I'll be back with another similar post at the start of next year, bye for now!

I'm in love.


I just found my new favourite cosmetics brand!! I'm heart-eyes over everything on ColouPop's online store now.


I had a lot of fun shopping on ColourPop. I bought this mainly to treat myself and friends for Christmas and because there was a sale, thanks to Kathleen Lights from this YouTube video where she gave a shoutout to all her favourite ColourPop products.

In addition to this haul, I also bought a Flexitarian highlighter and Echo Park Satin Lip but I gave those away to two lovely friends for Christmas so it's not included in this haul.

Without further ado, let's get to it!


I discovered Kathleen Lights ages ago, before she had he collab with ColourPop. I feel like Kathleen is such a sweet, genuine person from her videos. And she's so relatable too! I absolutely enjoy watching her videos so when I found out that she worked with ColourPop, I was SHOOK. I knew I wanted to get something from her collab collection on my first ColourPop purchase so I chose this (and other products which I will show later on in this post).

The shades in this foursome are:

Glow: matte creamy vanilla

Kathleenlights: bright golden copper
Let me just talk a little more about this Kathleenlights shade. In my opinion, this is my favourite out of this foursome. It's bold and sparkly while still being something I don't mind putting on my lids for an everyday look. It is very build-able so you can go from everyday gal to drama-mama if you desire.

Blaze: coco bronze sprinkled with multi-dimensional glitter

Cornelious: matte warm caramel
My favourite shade to wear for a casual day out.


Just some swatches :) Also, these shadows are pretty long-lasting! They last throughout the day and when I tried to vigorously rub these shadows off, they wouldn't budge. Even when I washed my arm, twice, you can still see traces of the shadows still there.

Next, I got the Lunch Money Pearlized Highlighter.

Let's get to the lip products :)

I got the Fairy Floss Ultra Glossy Lip.
ColourPop describes this as a sheer pale beige. I've never been a fan of lip glosses because of how sticky they feel on my lips but I had no issues with this gloss. I really like it and I'm totally going to go for the glossy lip look more in 2017.

I also got the Alyssa Ultra Satin Lip.
This lip product was also from the collab with Kathleen Lights which made me want to get it even more. I would say that the shade is pretty similar to Kylie's Koko K but the Alyssa is more moisturising and not as matte as Koko K.


The packaging alone has me sold- I'm a huge sucker for packaging! This bright dusty rose shade is very wearable and girly. The consistency is smooth, creamy and it glides onto the lips easily. The smell of the product is pretty good too, which is a plus point in my book.

Lastly, I got the Lumière Lippie Stix which is also a product made in collab with Kathleen Lights.
This dusty mauve pink lippie stick is probably my favourite lip product out of all the lip products I got from this ColourPop purchase (many many more purchases to come). It has a matte finish without being drying at all. It's also very easy to apply on the lips which is great for a lazy, messy person like me.

Already planning my next ColourPop purchase, hahaha! Especially with their new pressed shadows and collaboration with Alexis Ren? Gurrrl, I be camping on ColourPop's website.


That's all for this post, bye for now! :)